Savior - Rise Against

So apparently crying helps. I spent my entire day yesterday crying and yelling at people and fighting, and today I feel close to perfect. I'm a little tired, but I don't think that's going to go away any time soon. I'm still thinking about suicide all the time, but I really don't think it's going to become an issue. I don't know if I want to kill myself or if I just like knowing all the different ways to in case it becomes an issue one day. I just like to be over prepared. I know that that is really weird, but it's just how I am. I found out yesterday that the attitude I used to have in high school is definitely still buried in me somewhere. I thought that it was gone, but obviously it isn't.
We got a new apartment and were in the process of moving and one of my house mates threw away an entire cake that I baked. She just decided that it was bad. She didn't bother to ask or anything, even though she knew I was heading over to get the rest of my stuff that day. And as trivial as that is, it was the last fucking straw. I couldn't take it anymore and I just started yelling at her and crying and I don't really know what happened to be honest. It was just a cake, I know that. But that isn't the point. If anyone knows anything at all about me, you know for a fact that you DO NOT touch my things. Anything that belongs to me. I freak out easily. You don't touch my phone or computer or car or iPod or food or anything that belongs to me. It really bothers me when someone is that disrespectful. And so it wasn't really about the cake it was more about the fact that she always takes things that aren't hers and eats food that doesn't belong to her and tries to make rules for all of us like she is our mother. I am a fucking adult, shove your rules up your ass and save them for someone who cares. I make my own rules for me. I clean up after myself in the common areas of the house, so the way I run my life and the way my room looks is not up to you. It is up to me.
God, she just fucking pisses me off. People who try to run the lives of others piss me off in general and she doesn't know how to shut the fuck up and live her own life.

On a different note - I wish I knew how to have a conversation that is somewhat controversial without getting so fucking angry. I have such a temper and I wish I knew how to make it go away. But I don't. I get offended way too easily. I yell and scream and cry at the stupidest things. And when people are trying to help me I'm just a fucking jerk and it's going to make all of my friends leave me and I know it. But I can't control myself and I don't know why. I hate myself so fucking much. I also hate that this is the only place in the world that I can go to to vent. I can't talk to my friends about how I feel because if I do they only see the bad and I look like this negative person who hates life. And honestly that's who I am but I'm trying to be someone else. So I'm trying to get out all of the negativity here and save my friends for the positive parts of life.
UGH.
Life is so confusing. What is the fucking point? Can't I just go home??